Starting Anew

Starting Anew

Stepping through the door, I find myself missing the familiar "Hello!"s and "Good-morning!"s, I suppose it's to be expected.

I knew this place was older, more established. I expected formality, starch and bureaucracy. I'm surprised by the energy here. It isn't the youthful exuberance I've become accustomed to, but rather the steady determination of men and women who know what it means and what it takes to accomplish things over the course of years. There's something slightly alien about it.

I love feeling like they've each spent the time perfecting their craft I am only beginning to and that I can learn from them as I go. I love feeling that this posting is a blank slate, fertile ground for me to grow in and build a foundation upon.

It seems that the past of least resistance leads up here, it goes against the gravity people warned me I might find in corporate America. Is this what is meant by Culture? A shared sense that gravity doesn't apply to us? It isn't exactly the same as teamwork or camaraderie, we aren't working together all the time. It's more a sense of space and support.

2 months have flown by, but I feel like I've been living in the moment more than I ever have in the past.

Of course, most recently, I was stuck in the future. I was looking forward to 5PM and the closing bell and then nothing. Before that I was living in dreams of what life would be like in a few years. It wasn't carefree, but rather simply detached from reality. It was easy to postpone any real work until late. It was easy to put off the work that mattered. It was easy to put this off.

Now I find myself energized, the purpose I feel in my work bleeds into other areas. I find myself playing guitar again, writing, moving through each day in a dance rather than just miming the motions and smiling a clinical smile, cleaned of in-the-moment emotion.