Trying Tao Find The Way
Sometimes the noise is overwhelming.
I find myself following a path I can't see, barely able to hear the voice within telling me when to change course to avoid an obstacle still hidden under the surf.
How do I compensate for this inner obscurity?
Well, so far I've sought clarity by surrounding myself with luminaries who seem more grounded, sure, and properly aligned than I appear to myself. Of course, there's the very real possibility that they socialize with me for the same reason and that at the end of the day we form a congregation of well-adjusted, successful, unsure adults.
What's the measure of success in this pursuit of Tao?
An ever-elusive sense of fulfillment? That seems to be but a piece of the equation. It would be easy to derive some satisfaction from the genuine compliments and admiration of peers and elders, I've found it impossible not to. It's easy to derive some satisfaction from goals accomplished and challenges overcome. But how shall I measure my success in truly pushing my boundaries? There isn’t any haptic feedback for trying something I might really fuck up. I’m wired to avoid risk, to survive. There certainly isn’t any instant gratification, any surge of endorphins, after choosing to pursue a path that won’t yield benefits today.